Alright folks, after a brief, riotous American holiday interlude, I'm back!
So post-wickedness/ -destruction/ -incest with Lot, the focus comes back to Abraham and Sarah. This time, they're living as immigrants in Gerar (no one seems to know where that is). Again, Abraham tells everyone that Sarah is his sister... and again, the king takes Sarah for a wife. This time, however, God gives the king (Abimelech) a little more credit, coming to him in a dream warning him of impending death and doom because of his actions towards Sarah. King Abimelech asserts his ignorance of the situation. Actually, he pretty much tells God, "Hey dude, not my fault. For reals. Don't kill me." God says, "No worries! Just give her back to Abraham now 'for he is a prophet.' I had already taken precautions against you doing anything stupid." (Which we find out at the end of this particular anecdote. God "closed fast all the wombs of the house of Abimelech because of Sarah"). Also, when God calls Abraham a prophet in Gen 20:7, it's literally the only time Abraham is specifically called such. Once. Weird, huh? Anyways, when Abimelech tells his servants about his dreamt conversation with God, they experience the fear of God... which Abraham was sure they had none of... which is apparently the reason he called Sarah his sister this time. But then we find out that she is his sister. Well, his paternal half-sister. There's already intensely more incest in the Bible than I thought, guys. Who saw that coming? Anyways, that little story gets wrapped up nice and neatly with a little prayer from Abraham letting God know they'd sorted everything out and livestock had exchanged hands.
And Isaac is born! And Abraham and Sarah are really, really old when it happens! And more circumcision!
But then Sarah's a bitch. Again. The second that Isaac is weaned, she insists that Abraham send away Hagar and Ishmael (yeah, they're still hangin' around) because she saw Ishmael playing. Now, I need to point out here, that the NRSV gives Sarah a little more wiggle room by saying that she saw Ishmael playing with Isaac as part of the verse. My handy, dandy footnotes, however, inform me that the Hebrew lacks "with her son Isaac," which means that she just happened upon him playing with a little tool set, or ancient hot-wheels, or hop-scotch and was so incensed by his presence that he must be cast out. Abraham is a better guy than that and knows it's not a nice thing to do at all. And what does God have to say about all of this nonsense? God backs Sarah! God says Abraham should do whatever Sarah tells him to do! So the dutiful servant gives Hagar some bread and a skin of water and sends her on her way with her very young child. Not too long after, the water runs out. Hagar cannot bring herself to watch her one and only (mentioned) child die from thirst and exposure, so she puts him under some bushes and sits down "about the distance of a bowshot" away and cries her little heart out. It's a pretty heart-wrenching moment, actually. But remember what "Ishmael" means? God hears the boy. Not Hagar, you know, the one who seemed to be doing the actual weeping and gnashing of teeth... Either way I suppose. So an angel calls to Hagar from heaven and helps her open her eyes to see the well that may or may not have been there the whole time, and they're saved! Ishmael grows up in the wilderness, becomes an expert archer, and marries a lovely, little Egyptian girl that Hagar brings home for him.
Oh, and we're back to Abimelech. He realizes that Abraham is a Godly man, but that he has already lied once in their dealings together. So they make a pact. A covenant, if you will, that in all of their joint ventures and tradings that they be 100% truthful with each other, and their children forever should be held to those standards as well. Now that everyone's agreed, Abraham brings forth a complaint against Abimelech's servants who have commandeered a well that Abraham claims to have dug himself. He backs up this claim with a gift of seven lambs...? And there are Philistines being talked about? My footnotes tell me Philistines don't even exist yet. At least we get a little secret that Abraham kept from Sarah (probably). That well is the same well that Hagar stumbles upon in the wilderness that saves her and Ishmael. D'awwww.
Next time, a story you probably know... and an updated family tree.
<3 Agnostic in the Pews
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