We've just hardly been introduced to Abram, who will be our next leading man, when God shows up to send him on a mission to find a specific and yet unnamed land. If and when he gets there, Abram will be blessed and the source of a great nation. At this point in his life, Abram is already seventy-five years old... but keep in mind, people are living longer then (or at least they're counting differently). Still, he's not a young man. His apparent faith in God, however, sends him forth to search for this promised land... We get another slavery sighting here. Abram and Sarai had slaves. In packing up all their belongings to venture forth, the list starts with the main players, Abram, Sarai, and Lot (Abram's nephew, if you'll remember from last time), then things, then people they've acquired. That's right: less than things. Anyways, they journey, and eventually God says, "To your offspring, I will give this land." (Gen 12:7) Never mind that the Canaanites were already living there... But Abram builds an altar to God, and moves on.
While they're doing their nomad thing, there's a massive famine in the land, but not over in Egypt. So they head over that way. Abram realizes, however, that because Sarai is wicked pretty, if those rowdy Egyptians know that she is his wife, they'll kill him, take her for their very own, and have their wicked way with her. So he hatches a plan. In order to keep them safe, they'll lie and say she's his sister. Now I'm not really sure why this would keep them any safer than being husband and wife, and while I can get behind a bit of falsehood in order to save your skins, isn't Abram the pious and holy supposed to be better than that? Either way, they get into Egypt. All of the officials see how beautiful Sarai is, and like the good little officials they are, run off and tell Pharaoh that he's got a new wife prospect. Bet you can't guess what happens next. Pharaoh takes Sarai from Abram for his own, and gives him quite the collection of livestock in return. What does Pharaoh get? Plagues. And one less wife. When he finds out that Abram and Sarai are actually married, he basically says, "What the hell, man? Why'd you tell me she was your sister? I wouldn't've touched her if I knew she was your wife! Take your stuff, and go!" So they do. I'm with you on this one Pharaoh. I don't get it either.
Anyway, now that the gang has food, they take a roundabout way to get back to where Abram built that altar. There, Abram and Lot try to live and raise their livestock in the same area, and realize pretty quickly that it is a bad idea. The herds are eating them out of house and home all crammed together like that. After much "strife," Abram tells Lot to choose where he (Lot) would rather be, and says he (Abram) will go the opposite direction. So Lot looks around and picks the best spot for himself, which just happens to be right by Sodom and Gomorrah. Yes, the very same. It even mentions now how God hasn't destroyed those two cities yet, but that they are full of "wicked, great sinners against the Lord." After Lot chooses, God tells Abram again where his offspring will end up living, in the land that he has been promised.
Now while all of this is going on, we've also got war. One group of kings vs. a second group of kings that includes King Bera of Sodom and King Birsha of Gomorrah. Their names actually translate to "In Evil" and "In Wickedness" respectively, pointing towards allegory (not our last sighting of allegory, I'm sure...) And war being, well, war, people get taken prisoner. People like Lot, for example. Want to rethink where you chose to live Lot? Not yet? Okay... Abram won't stand for his family to be held captive though, so he charges in with only 318 "trained men" and saves the day along with Lot and his goods, some women, and "the people." When Abram returned from his great feats of family values and selflessness, "King Melchizedek of Salem brought out bread and wine; he was a priest of God Most High." (Gen 14:18) Bread and wine. I wonder where we'll see that again... I'd also like to point out "God Most High" in Hebrew is "El Elyon" who was a Canaanite deity, and it just kind of mushes together with Abram's God here. Without that little footnote, it reads like just an exalted way of calling God. With it... it sounds like they understand that El Elyon and Abram's God might be the same God, just called different things, and they're cool with that. Gotta love footnotes. Anyways, after the blessing, Abram tithes, that is, he gives up a tenth of his holdings to the King of Sodom (who was there the whole time, I just didn't need to mention him again 'til now). The king then tries to give Abram spoils of war, but Abram and his mighty foresight turn it down. Now the king is indebted to him, which I'm sure will come in handy...
<3 Agnostic in the Pews
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